Zagrabaniczne (Strona 1 z 5)

Jamaica.

Did ya make her.

Fall out of the penis = Wypasc z interesu
    Highway to Hell = Autostrada na Hel
    Never Ending Story = Bardzo Dlugie Zaslony
    To fuck onself off like a janitor on Corpus Christi Day = odpieprzyc sie jak stroz w Boze Cialo
    Don't make a village = nie rob wiochy
    Shit is going around me = gowno mnie to obchodzi
    He was in Warsaw = byl, wojne widzial
    I tower you = wierze Ci
    Don't tear yourself = nie drzyj sie
    Glasgow = Szklo poszlo
    I'll animal it to you = zwierze Ci sie
    I thank you from the mountain = dziekuje z gory
    I feel a train to you = czuje do Ciebie pociag
    Penis is walking around me = ch... mnie to obchodzi
    Go out on people = wyjsc na ludzi
    It's after birds = juz po ptokach
    Without small garden = bez ogrodek
    I'm from Beeftown = Jestem z Wolomina
    Village killed by desks = wioska zabita dechami
    Universal Pregnancy Law = Prawo Powszechnego Ciazenia
    I see in boat = Widzew Lodz
    Brain tire fire = zapalenie opon mozgowych
    To go to the second page of the street = przejsc na druga strone ulicy
    Do you divide my sentence? = czy podzielasz moje zdanie?
    Heritage of prices = spadek cen
    To make the profit on time = zyskac na czasie
    Railway on you! = kolej na Ciebie!
    To divorce the facts = rozwodzic sie nad faktami
    Can you throw me up? = mozesz mnie podrzucic?
    My girlfriend is very expensive to me = moja dziewczyna jest mi bardzo droga
    Day, memory is flying...= Dzien, wspomnienie lata...
    Post him shoping = wyslac go na zakupy
    Garden School Band = Zespol Szkol Ogrodniczych
    Little business of movement = kiosk ruchu
    Fugitive of circumstances = zbieg okolicznosci
    Heritage of prices = spadek cen
    Tom divided their lottery coupon = Tom podzielil ich los
    Coffee on the table = kawa na lawe
    First from the shore = pierwszy z brzegu
    Coin paintings = obrazy Moneta
    Serious music concert = koncert muzyki powaznej
    don't boat yourself - nie ludz sie
    cut off myself a nap - uciac sobie drzemke
    behind-eyes student - student zaoczny
    to cut percentage feet - obnizyc stopy procentowe
    give me the second time - daj mi sekunde czasu
    he killed her nail - zabil jej cwieka
    the profits are flying into the hole - zyski leca w dól
    he was her right hand in driving the left businesses - Byl jej prawa reka w prowadzeniu lewych interesów
    time swimming allowed - czas plynie wolno
    a lot of faith - pelno wiary
    slowness of word - wolnosc slowa
    blind lottery-ticket - slepy los
    outpepper yourself! odpieprz sie!
    Pisses Man - Szczepan
    afterbills - porachunki
    feet of metals - stopy metali
    old good tenses - stare dobre czasy
    don't make stages! nie rób scen!
    to break down the first ice-creams - przelamywac pierwsze lody
    volleyball of the eye - siatkówka oka
    half of a "K" - pólka

    Cities:
    The Dug-Up - Zakopane
    Oh-Field - Opole
    Think-It-Over - Przemysl

    Tytuly:
    Grandfathers - Dziady
    Crossmen - Krzyzacy
    Baldie from Ida deck - Lysek z pokladu Idy
    On blueberries - Na jagody
    Citizen Chirper - Obywatel Piszczyk

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right
thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red
light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration
as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell
phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into
the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her
car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was
searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was
waiting with her personal effects.

He said, 'I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car
while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and
cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper
sticker, the 'Choose Life' License plate holder, the 'Follow Me to
Sunday-School' bumper Sticker, And the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on
the trunk, Naturally...I assumed you had stolen the car.'

Z cyklu " Znalezione w zeszycie do angielskiego mojego syna":

If U want to be a hippie put a flower on your pipi,
If U want to be a wife, cut your pipi with a knife.
If U want to be a man, show me what your pipi can.

Moja krew!

albo to

Every morning in Africa, a Gazelle wakes up, it knows it must run faster than the fastest Lion or it will be killed and eaten. Every morning, a Lion wakes up, it knows it must run faster than the slowest Gazelle or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a Lion or a Gazelle, when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.

From:

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening in
Surfers
Paradise when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She
was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout
from the back seat, 'Mum, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a little boy handed his teacher a note from his
mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents.'

3) TOMATO SAUCE
A woman was trying hard to get the last bit of tomato sauce out of the
bottle.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer the phone. 'Mummy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at Fernwood ladies gym and found himself in the locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was
interrupted
by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she
asked, 'Are you a policeman?'
'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.'
'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that
right?'
'Yes, that's right,' I told her.
'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please
tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station.
As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a
little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally
he
said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for meals-on-wheels where we delivered meals to the elderly, I
used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my rounds. She was unfailingly
intrigued
by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in
a
glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
merely
turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
dad
donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard
the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box
and cotton wool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting
my time,' she said to her mother.
'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and
looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's
Adam's underwear!'

Kobiety dzielimy na 2 typy : DOBRE i IDEALNE.
Dobra kobieta ma dużą D, małą P, i dobrze w rękach trzyma CH. Gdzie:
D- działkę
P-potrzebę
Ch-chudobę
A to o czym myśleliście =to idealna kobieta.

Przetlumaczyc sie da. Ale nie mam pomyslu jak to zrobic tak, zeby nie stracilo sensu.

When this bloke asked me if I preffered legs, thighs or breasts, I told him that i had a fondness for shaved fannies. He then told me that this wasn't an option with the KFC bargain bucket...

If "CON" is the opposite of "PRO", what is the opposite of PROGRESS?

Nowicjuszu, każde wrzucenie przez Ciebie linka zostanie wykorzystane przeciwko Tobie. Dodatkowo przed wstawieniem linka skonsultuj się z lekarzem lub farmaceutą
O tempora, o mores, o ku**...

Sie robi:
" Klub miłośników BMW e30
Przejedź się w piątki z nami"

Borys, jeszcze zdążysz!

i ode mnie

I am not selling sex
I am selling condoms,
with this free home demonstration...